To my dear readers

This is the story of a bear.

Once upon a tree,

There was Bear.

He was 30 or 40 human footlengths up this tree, Bear was, happily placing his furry paws upon unlucky acorns (or something) and devouring them with great gusto, and much concentration. So concentrated was he, this bear, that he did not notice the human hiker sneaking up onto him, stealthily crashing through brush and tripping over rocks and the like, until it was ONE HUNDRED FIFTY YARDS AWAY, on the other side of the mountaintop! “OH NO,” cried Bear terrifiedly to himself!

Oh yes, Bear. Oh yes. Human. Right. There.

So away Bear went, but the only way to go was down. Goodbye, bear. Goodbye, tree branches. Hello, underbrush.

The human could hear Bear running

all the way


the mountain.

Poor Bear. THE END.

P.S. There’s a small squeaky creature squeakily snoring right next to my tent. Obviously I am not disturbing enough.

P.P.S Ever heard of hunter bells? I made it up. They are like bear bells, except for hunters; it is so they do not shoot you because you sound like a bear. (Bear bells are so bears do not eat you because you sound like a reindeer. Or something [I forget how these things work]). Soon it will be bear hunting season. Already they are training their dogs; the bears are quite skittish.

HUNTER BELLS. November 2017. Coming soon to a trail near you.

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